How Seniors Can Spot Red Flags in Online Dating Profiles

Spotting red flags could be someone asking for money or financial help, refusing video calls despite claiming interest, professing love unusually quickly, or pressuring you to move conversations off the app. Be wary of profiles with vague details, stolen photos, or inconsistent stories. Trust your instincts; if something feels off, it probably is.

The world of online dating can feel like a thrilling adventure, especially for seniors embracing new ways to connect. But, as with any journey, it’s wise to pack a map and watch for warning signs. While most individuals on dating platforms are sincere, some profiles conceal warning signs that could lead to heartache, scams, or even danger.

How can seniors identify red flags in dating profiles?

For seniors navigating this digital landscape, knowing how to spot these red flags is key to staying safe and finding meaningful connections.

Let’s delve into the subtle and not-so-subtle clues that indicate when to swipe left, press “block”, or proceed cautiously.

1. The Profile Feels Too Perfect

We’ve all seen those profiles: flawless photos, a biography that reads like a romance novel, and a list of interests that align uncannily with yours. While it’s tempting to think you’ve found your ideal match, perfection is often a façade.

Ask yourself:

• Are the photos overly polished, or do they look like stock images?
• Does their bio lack specific details, such as mentioning “I love travelling” without elaborating on destinations or reasons?
• Do they seem to mirror your hobbies and values without sharing unique details?

Scammers and catfishers often create idealised personas to lure people in. A genuine profile will have quirks, imperfections, and personal anecdotes. If it feels scripted, trust your gut.

2. They Avoid Video Calls or In-Person Meetings – Red Flags

It takes time to build a connection, but hesitation to meet face-to-face, even virtually, is a warning sign. Excuses like “my camera’s broken” or “I’m shy” might mask dishonesty.

What to watch for:

• Refusing video calls after weeks of chatting.
• Always cancelling plans to meet.
• Pressuring you to share photos or videos first.

For seniors, video calls are a safe way to verify someone’s identity before investing emotionally. If they avoid this step, please regard it as a caution.

3. Their Story Doesn’t Add Up

Inconsistencies are a hallmark of deceptive profiles. Maybe they claim to be a retired teacher but can’t name a single book they’ve taught, or they say they’ve lived locally for years but stumble over basic landmarks.

Pro tip: Keep notes as you chat. Jot down details they share (career, family, hobbies) and gently circle back later. If their answers change or contradict earlier statements, proceed with caution.

4. They Rush the Relationship

While it’s possible to fall in love instantly, genuine connections require time. Be wary of profiles that push for instant intimacy or declarations of love within days.

Lines like “You’re the one I’ve been waiting for” or “I’ve never felt this way before” might feel flattering, but they’re often tools to lower your guard.

Signs of love-bombing:

• Early on, you may receive over-the-top compliments.
• They push you to make a commitment before you even meet.
• Sharing overly personal stories to elicit sympathy is a common practice.

Healthy relationships grow gradually. If someone’s moving too fast, hit pause.

5. They Ask for Money or Financial Details

Such behaviour is a major red flag, especially for seniors targeted by romance scams.

According to the FTC, over $1.3 billion was lost to romance scams in 2022 alone, and adults over 70 face the highest losses per person.

Common financial traps:

• Sudden emergencies, such as “My car broke down, and I can’t afford repairs,” are common financial traps.
• Investment “opportunities” that offer guaranteed returns are also common financial traps.
• Requests for gift cards, wire transfers, or access to your bank account.

No legitimate romantic interest will ask for money. If they do, report the profile immediately.

6. They’re Vague About Their Past

Everyone has a history, but evasiveness about basic details can signal trouble. A profile that glosses over their career, family, or lifestyle might be hiding something.

Questions to ask (politely):

• “What did you do for work before retiring?”
• “Do you have kids or grandkids?”
• “What brought you to this area?”

If their answers are vague (“I’ve done lots of things” or “My past is complicated”), dig deeper or walk away.

7. They Have No Social Footprint

In today’s digital age, most people leave traces online: social media accounts, news mentions, or even a LinkedIn profile. While not everyone is tech-savvy, a complete lack of digital presence is suspicious.

Do a quick check:

• Google their name and location.
• Reverse-image search their profile photos (scammers often steal pics from influencers or stock sites).
• Look for inconsistencies in their story.

If nothing comes up or the details don’t match, it’s a sign to tread carefully.

8. They Pressure You to Leave the Dating Platform – Red Flags

Legitimate users will respect the platform’s messaging system. Be cautious if someone pushes to move conversations to email, text, or private apps too quickly. Scammers do so in order to avoid detection by site moderators.

Phrases to watch for:

• “This site is glitchy; let’s chat on WhatsApp.”
• “I don’t check here often. Text me instead.”

Stick to the platform until you’re certain of their authenticity.

9. They Disappear and Reappear Mysteriously – Red Flags

Does your match vanish for weeks, then pop back up with a dramatic story about why they were gone? This “hot-and-cold” behaviour could mean they’re juggling multiple targets or hiding a double life.

Patterns to note:

• Frequent excuses about losing their phone or travelling.
• Long silences followed by overly enthusiastic messages.
• They often exhibit inconsistent communication styles, such as suddenly using poor grammar in messages that were previously polished.

Consistency matters. If their presence feels erratic, it’s okay to let go.

10. Your Friends or Family Feel Uneasy

Sometimes, outsiders spot red flags we miss. Share details of your online interactions with a trusted friend or family member. If they express concern, listen.

Bonus tip: Join online dating forums or groups for seniors. Communities like AARP’s dating advice section or SeniorMatch forums offer support and scam alerts.

Trust Yourself: You’ve Earned That Wisdom

Seniors bring a lifetime of experience to dating, and intuition is a powerful tool. If something feels “off”, honour that feeling. Online dating should be fun, not fraught with anxiety. Read: Top safety tips for senior dating apps

Seniors can confidently navigate online dating and make meaningful connections if they stay alert and prioritise their safety.

Curious about senior dating? Click here for honest, easy-to-read reviews that help you choose the right site and start connecting with confidence.